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Florida Man
Florida Man is a legend of the Floridan wasteland extending even well before the Great War. By some Florida Man is seen as a chaotic trickster god while to others Florida Man is really just a bunch of guys in Florida being weird. Regardless of people’s differing opinions, Florida Man has remained a constant reminder of Florida’s eccentricities for centuries. Biography Pre-War Origins There are many contradicting stories about the origins of Florida Man, coming from many different sources. The majority of these sources are the oral traditions of rural folk on the Gulf Coast, including both swampers and their less mutated neighbors. These stories lean on the fantastical. On the other hand, some more civilized people have their own opinions on Florida Man, drawn from pre-War newspapers and terminal entries. One wasteland explorer in particular, Sam Booth, discovered a large amount of pre-War police records that shed some new light on Florida Man. The two conflicting narratives on Florida Man rarely interact, and due to the dangerous nature of swampers and their neighbors, they usually do not end well. Florida Man supposedly originated in the century before the bombs fell, if the oral traditions of yokels and swampers are to be believed. These locals believed that before the bombs fell, Florida Man was simply a somewhat mischievous man who was living his life in Florida until the bombs dropped. Others say he was an outright bad man. Some say he was a thief, others say he was bandit, and still others contend that he was the king of a small realm. Popular stories about Florida Man's pre-War adventures include chem-fueled binges, interactions with various, dangerous creatures, and numerous sex crimes. When nuclear fires bathed the world, Florida Man died along with many others, but his spirit remained behind to be a nuisance to the people of Florida and beyond in the years after the bombs. Some say this was Florida Man wanting to be an eternal trickster while others say it is punishment. His spirit will never find peace if the swampers are to be believed, and he can only be pacified by annual offerings of food and chems. Stories about Florida Man are often told by elders to rest of the clan. Florida Man's pre-War origins according to civilized peoples are more mundane, but they are still fairly interesting. Many pre-War newspapers have been found by wastelanders that read about a "Florida Man" getting into absurd situations and committing outrageous crimes. Because of these newspapers and the oral traditions of the swampers, Florida has become something of a tall tale to the people of Florida, like Paul Bunyan and John Henry. His adventures, albeit sanitized, are often told by mothers to their children. Post-War Appearances The story of Florida Man did not end with the Great War. There are the still occasional sightings of a "Florida Man" doing absurd and shameless acts around Florida and sometimes elsewhere on the Gulf Coast. Reports of Florida Man causing havoc have ranged as far from the Foreverglades all the way to Orange, Texas. His reported adventures vary from malicious to harmless mischief. Florida Man's appearances are usually taken as warnings of great change to come. Years with a high frequency of sightings include 2162, 2197, 2199, 2241, 2253, 2277, 2281, and most recently 2287. Some more superstitious swampers are becoming worried of the increasing frequency of Florida Man sightings in the last decade, with some swamper priests saying that this is a sign of the second and final great fire fast approaching. As so, many swamper clans in Florida have increased their raiding to precipitate this anticipated tremendous change. Whether Florida Man is one man or a collection of similar man has been point of contention for some time now. The more superstitious believers in Florida Man think that the man is the same that the newspapers and the old stories talk about. They claim that he is either an immortal spirit or simply a ghoul that has a love for causing chaos. The most frequent examples of Florida Man occurring are in Florida Panhandle. He will appear to people trekking across the wasteland and will usually do some random or absurd act before retreating back to the wasteland. Not many people who see Florida Man get a good look at him, but when they do, his appearance is etched into their minds. Florida sometimes also appears in settlements, but those appearances are rarer. Some say that is because Florida Man often destroys towns he is unlucky enough to wander into. The legend of Florida has survived the Great War and continues to fascinate the people of the Gulf Coast today. There is no sign that Florida Man is going away and the increased frequency of sightings actually suggest he is getting more common as time goes on. Still, many skeptics say that Florida Man is simply the result of a two century-long moral panic that has refused to go away. Those skeptical wastelanders say that Florida Man is just the manifestation of the Gulf’s fears. That is the viewpoint of most people, though most will still amuse the legend for the entertainment factor. Personality Florida Man’s personality is something of an enigma, much like the man himself. Very little is known about Florida Man’s personality but much has been conjectured about the man. Most stories characterize Florida Man as a trickster with varying degrees of altruism and maliciousness. From his various actions throughout the wasteland, Florida Man has been theorized to be a shameless, vigorous, and wholly unlucky man. Appearance The appearance of Florida Man has varied greatly over the years, with his only consistent feature being male. Florida Man’s race, age, and height have never been very consistent, which is what lead to the skeptics’ claim that the legendary figure is actually multiple people. Another somewhat consistent feature of Florida Man is a disheveled and somewhat uncouth appearance. This is has been explained by storytellers in that he stumbles from disaster to disaster, eternally causing mischief throughout the wasteland. Quotes By About Category:History